5 Terrible Ideas for Celebrating Easter This Year

Aaron DeBee
4 min readMar 31, 2018

Think we can’t find a way to ruin one of the purist days of the year? Hold our collective beer.

Pastel colors, fuzzy baby animals, religious celebration, and the promise of warmer weather have nothing on us. Somehow, despite our intentions, we’ll still find a way to taint the bright and joyous family holiday. Want to spare yours? Here are five things to avoid:

1. Vodka Infused Peeps

Oh, we’re off to a quick start. Easters start early and often involve a lot of family, so I don’t blame you for considering pre-gaming it. Drinking your way through the holidays? Tradition. Hiding it in an iconic holiday treat? Brilliant. So how could this one go wrong?

One little known fact about peeps is that those little buggers can’t handle their booze. Just like your cousin Randy, every time they get even a little nip, they start trouble. You don’t want a whole gang of these sugary fellas sloshing around in your guts during the egg hunt. Trust me, they won’t stay there.

2. Vintage Bunny Costume

I don’t know what the hell was going on with people from 1940 to 1985, but they seemed to have real trouble determining what rabbits looked like. It doesn’t seem that difficult; they are virtually everywhere. Yet, somehow, the ones that have faces like the mask from V for Vendetta are among the least alarming.

There have to be decent, friendly-looking bunny costumes for sale or rent these days. Please invest in one if you want to play Easter bunny. That old costume you found in grandpa’s basement may seem like a real find, but I assure you, it’s the same bad idea now that it was back in 1962. Just because you can doesn’t necessarily mean you should. Burn that old thing and try not to get smoldering bunny fur on your clothes when you do.

Aaron DeBee

Freelance Writer/Blogger/Editor, veteran, Top Rated on Upwork, former Medium Top Writer in Humor, Feminism, Culture, Sports, NFL, etc.