Freelance Crossroads and the Journeyman Writer

At the junction of practicality and professionalism, it can be difficult to know the direction in which we should venture forth. I found myself at such a crossroads recently, although I didn’t arrive suddenly, and I’m not entirely sure I’ve not been at the same intersection before.

“I miss writing, though,… and I think that means something.”

I’ve been writing and finding joy in writing since I was of some single-digit age. In perhaps grade five or six, I was regularly churning out serialized episodes of a superhero story involving a cartoon protagonist I’d stolen from a cheap but locally recognized television commercial campaign (“Captain Colortyme”).

I liked writing it, and my friends liked reading it. They would pester me to hurry in finishing the next installment, and I would take an uncharacteristic pride in seeing them eagerly await their turn to read my hand-scrawled notebook pages of text.

It was probably then, or at some unnamed time before that when a teacher praised an assignment or when I excelled at a writing exercise, that I began to believe I was better than average at writing. I tucked this neatly to the side like a cute little hobby or a guilty pleasure, without ever giving it concrete, practical consideration as a professional focus.

I relegated it in my mind to a secondary skill appropriate only for supporting what I perceived to be more responsible, more easily quantifiable professional pursuits. While I was translating or analyzing national intelligence information, it was permitted to peek out now and then, glinting behind data transfers and rigid protocols. At other times, I abandoned it completely.

I’ve recently been on the rebound from one of those abandonment periods, and I’m wondering what has taken me so long. The past few years, for all the practical reasons that go along with trying to make a living and to at least look like a responsible adult, I’ve been working 40-hour per week time-clock punching jobs in which writing ability couldn’t be less of a factor.