Amazon is killing me this morning. I don’t know what time UPS starts delivering, but it has technically been “Tuesday” here for nine hours now. That seems like plenty of time to deliver a bicycle. I’m normally a pretty patient guy, but this is just not the week.
I also desperately need exercise to keep from slipping further into morbid obesity and suffering from massive arterial blockage, and riding a bicycle is absolutely the only form of exercise I find even remotely tolerable.
I’m having one of those weeks where everything seems to go wrong. For months now, I’ve been having trouble adjusting to my new job, so that’s a constant source of stress. I happened to have three days off this past weekend, but I had a pretty significant bout of depression that tainted it.
I’ve also not been communicating very well, which has caused some tension in my interpersonal relationships. I’m told that I’ve seemed irritable lately, and my writing also doesn’t seem to be connecting very effectively with my intended audiences. That’s really been needling at me, because last week I had some not-so-secret aspirations of gaining some humor writing popularity, and I was having a good time trying. I probably ought to get my tiny rubber baby back out of the drawer.
Last night was the topper, though. Not five minutes after internally committing to adopting a rosier outlook, I realized that my bicycle had been stolen. That may be a bigger deal to me than it seems. My bicycle is my sole source of transportation, and I’ve structured my entire existence in Green Bay around that fact. I also desperately need exercise to keep from slipping further into morbid obesity and suffering from massive arterial blockage, and riding a bicycle is absolutely the only form of exercise I find even remotely tolerable.
After cackling like a madman at my own misfortune, I took a good look around at rock bottom and decided to begin my ascent out of the pit. You see, it just so happens that I needed a new bike anyway, and had recently ordered a much better one than my stolen one. What’s more, it was scheduled to be delivered the next day (today). So, yeah, my bike got stolen, but a newer, better one was already on the way. Who’s laughing (i.e. cackling like a madman) now, universe?
Tuesday also happens to be the day things are supposed to begin to warm up in Green Bay, which makes it the perfect day for receiving a bike. Score two for me. I am turning this thing around.
I didn’t count on the soul-crushing combination of Amazon and UPS, though. We’re now heading into the tenth hour of “Tuesday”, and it is still not here. Additionally, I have to be clocked in at work before the fourteenth hour of Tuesday begins. And my bike will need assembled when it gets here. It’s not happening, is it?
I thought I had you for a minute there, universe. Well played roping in the Amazon and UPS ringers. I didn’t see that one coming.