Sacre Bleu, Piere, Stop Soccer-Shaming Me

Where are the Red Cards for Excessive Sports Snobbery?

We get it, Uber Hooligan. You like wearing overly tight jerseys with names you can’t pronounce and pretending to be a supporter of locations you’d be hopelessly unable to find on a map. Congratulations on being faux cultured. Now please just give me a moment’s peace.