Sacre Bleu, Piere, Stop Soccer-Shaming Me

Where are the Red Cards for Excessive Sports Snobbery?

get it, Uber Hooligan. You like wearing overly tight jerseys with names you can’t pronounce and pretending to be a supporter of locations you’d be hopelessly unable to find on a map. Congratulations on being faux cultured. Now please just give me a moment’s peace.