The Weather Channel Website is a Cruel (and Confusing) Mistress

Aaron DeBee
5 min readApr 12, 2018
WHAT?! I just wanted to know if I’m going to need a coat…

What in precipitation is going on with the Weather Channel website? How did something that should be so straight-forward become such an incredible train wreck? And yet, I can’t just walk away.

This past November, I moved to Green Bay, WI. My inability to make reasonable decisions aside, this winter relocation obviously gave me reason to pay an increased amount of attention to the weather.

I had an overwhelming urge to know, to the fraction of a degree, exactly how frigid the Green Bay winter was on like an hourly basis. There was, for instance, an 11-day streak during which the temperature was only above zero for a cumulative total of three hours. If I’m going to complain about a decision I knowingly made of my own free will, information like this is essential.

Land octopuses?! Screw the temperature! We need to prepare! Thanks, The Weather Channel!

Back to the Weather Channel website. Have you seen this disaster? We need to talk about this. I can’t even wrap my mind around it. Don’t click on it, though. For the love of all that’s holy, don’t click on it. You’ll never make it out alive.

I’m a simple man. All I want is to receive an answer about the upcoming weather in a reasonable amount of time and with very little effort. Someone, in what I assume were the early days of the internet, had the wisdom to create a website around that idea for the already existing Weather Channel. After that, something went terribly, terribly wrong.

You know what? I changed my mind. Misery loves company. Go ahead and navigate to that web page; I’ll wait. I’ll cancel vacations, miss my next child’s first steps, grow a Rip VanWinkle-esque beard, and fritter away my youth. (To be fair, I’ve already got a pretty good jump on that last one.)

Spoof graphic, but it’s dead on.

Seriously, if you’ve had either the good sense or the unbelievable fortune to never visit their website, you’re probably advancing society for the rest of us with all of your extra time. Meanwhile, I’m stuck staring slack-jawed at a…

Aaron DeBee

Freelance Writer/Blogger/Editor, veteran, Top Rated on Upwork, former Medium Top Writer in Humor, Feminism, Culture, Sports, NFL, etc.